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Noches de febrero 13.1

I am Arthur. I was lost. I sent my knights to look for what I had lost...that is myself; and I had lost it for a very, very long time. Today my most precious knight found and brought me my loss; the Grail, the hidden inspiratio: "You". Not in the shape of an object, not in the shape os a girl; but in the shape of an ideal. My ideal! 
    There was a time when you was "you". And there's been no one who has made me feel like you did; fascinated just by your sight; by your thoughts, by your walk,  by your actions, by your smile, by your sigh....NO ONE. Of course, You were and you are my Guinevere: The Princess who refused to became a Queen; though you were the Queen already. The Queen Inspiratio...that became the runaway princess. 
   And it is not that I have been looking for you, as I already established I got lost trying to forget about you; trying to cease the pain of loosing you; of not having you lying next to me every night, of not having you holding me with all your love and care every time I needed so. I got so lost that I began to play that I could be with everybody and nobody at the same time; I began to play that I didn't need sanctuary. I lost the idea of Inspiratio, the idea of "you" (and lets be clear; when I say "you" is not your physical you; your last persoification. Not Guinevere; never Guinevere) "You" is the idea and "You" was long gone and I played for so long that I forgot what is it that "you" meant. And I played myself that I could find and absurd "you", that any one could be "you". And there where many; I can tell you about all of them; from the one that is just a pitiful excuse of an attempt, to the one that for a moment imagined (and for a moment managed to convinced me) that she could be "you". 
    Anyway, today my Percival brought me back the idea, the purity of what "you" means. Today I remember that I am Arthur, that I am the King. I am not the sea but the one who stands in front of it and opens it so my people can pass through its magnificence. Today I was remenbered that I must be ready for your second comming, I must be patient and not dispair. Of course; I may not see you now but when I do so I will instantly know that "she" is "you". And it will be quite a challenge; but I love challenges; and "you" will know that I am the "I" in "you and I".
Right now, I am smiling in a fashion that I have not been able to for a very long time.

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